The first time I saw you I ran into you, slightly audaciously forward Your dark brilliant eyes flashed at me in mild reproof and I fancied that your slightly smiling glance tarried on me for a moment with almost as much fascination as that which held me breathless until far after your long hair had tossed in turning away-- Spring 1990
I spot her distant smile and choose simplicity, her face among many as many times before, white skin, black hair, black eyes, her name a blank on my tongue A voice says Her veins run liquid fire Her back is an S chiseled in alabaster There is a mole on her left shoulder blade like a blot of lust written on a tablet of purity Her eyes are cool opals set in the midst of a sea of desire Go talk to her He's not helping Simplicity knots and wrenches away from me I build her into an unbearable vision If I tilt this windmill it will shiver into insubstantial powder on the breeze We share closed-mouthed, enigmatic smiles and glances away yet were I to whisper destruction into months of silence I would see the real woman awaiting me-- Fall 1990
I would write a poem in a language you do not speak. And I would read it to you, and, finishing, smile and say, -- There. -- You have heard my heartsong, purer than any I could compose in our English. It is the lament of the foreigner, walking, awkward, afraid, uncertain, and small, drowning in what he cannot comprehend. This would be my poem to you; in not understanding you would finally understand.-- 1990
The sky glows faintly past moonless midnight -- mysterious sourceless muted light -- not quite surpassing the glinting stars behind. I ponder this as I lie sleepless, preoccupied, gazing out my window. You are an enigma, wordless woman. You are a rock, solid and silent. None may move you -- folly be the efforts of he who tries. Crickets and cicadas outside my window sing loud their little business but stone, more substantial, offers the ear less of an explanation of its greater strength and weightier worries. I blow through this night rootless -- as all nights, and days -- a nomad puff of dandelion-seed seeking soil. -- All soil is stone split and crumbled into loamy richness by eons of roots' grasp -- and yet you admit no fingerhold on your smooth surface. It is no wonder that I roam. A different child, a shadow on the playground, now in manhood still seeks to flesh out self. And fumbles at conversation. You, too, are timid -- so, you drift back, silent and passive into my sleepless thoughts -- this I can know. But your muted eyes, faintly glowing that absent smile -- this, I do not know. Do they reflect my want of you, or glitter celestial indifference?-- 1990